Archive for November, 2010

done… sort of.

i submitted my thesis today.

i went to new media services & had them print our four copies for me- a total of 508 pages. holy cow.

my goal was to finish on friday, but then baby m was sick, so i stayed home in the morning, until d got back, & then i went to university after lunch, & of course, the way i work, by the time i got there, my motivation had all flown the coop. or whatever.

i was going to be all finished on friday. i really really was. i even had tickets to go to a little concert on friday. & i sat there with my red pen, marking up the copy of my thesis & i knew it just wasn’t going to happen.

so d brought burgers & french fries, & we had a picnic in the conference room outside my office. i couldn’t remember the last time we had a meal together by ourselves.  we don’t get out much.

& then we went to an acapella concert, which of course was right in the same building as my office, because i never really leave. glee seems to have spawned a whole new world of people singing pop songs… more and less well. there were quite a few examples of less, but a few wonderful examples of more, so it all kind of balanced out in the end. we were going to go out for a beer to celebrate my (not quite) finished thesis, but then the concert was long, & it was all a little bit anti-climactic.

& then today, i submitted. (& then i worked on my power point presentation for the defense, & discussed philosophy with mario, which is something i usually never do, because philosophy makes me crazy, most of the time.)

i have decided i will do lovely things this christmas season, to get us in the christmas spirit. so yesterday, i baked some päpanät. i’m not really sure how to spell it. they’re christmas cookies i remember always having around… tiny tiny cookies that are hard and crunchy & a little bit spicy. my oma gave me a book called “mennonite foods & folkways from south russia” by norma jost voth, which i absolutely love. i love it because it has lots of great recipes in it, but also because it has stories and songs and tips about waffles in it. also, it has about 35 different recipes for peppernuts. some of them have weird ingredients i’ve never even heard of before. like kabo syrup? or ammonia (isn’t that something bad in cat pee?)? so i decided on the recipe i found over here (thanks erin!) i used some lebkuchengewürz from germany instead of measuring everything out. i don’t really care for measuring. i like to eyeball. & i read the päpanät stories to m while he lovingly watched the “baby cookies” bake.  1st advent lovely achieved.




honey ginger tea
fuzzy head runny nose chills
friday deadline looms


it is monday morning. actually it’s already halfway through the morning. i am on campus, trying to incorporate changes to the second chapter of my thesis. my supervisor & i had a really great discussion about how to do it, but now, it is as though all the wind is out of my sails. i just want this to be over already. i want to hand it in as is and be done with it.

on the other hand, a second after hitting send, i would feel frustrated, i know, because it’s not my best work. handing in my thesis the way it is now would be half-assed, & i’m not used to doing things half-assed.

i moved across the country to take my spot in this master’s program. my husband & i uprooted ourselves, moved away from our friends and family to start a new life here so i could study what i am passionate about. we found out a few days before we left that i was pregnant. as we drove away from our first apartment, waving frantically at my waving parents on the sidewalk, i remember thinking: what are we doing?

about thirty hours of driving later, a few nights in a college dorm room, we moved into our townhouse, without furniture. we slept on the floor. the carpet was dirty. i remember thinking: what are we doing?

my pregnancy was rough. i threw up a lot. more than once, hanging over the toilet bowl, i remember thinking: what are we doing?

when my son was born, my semester wasn’t quite over, so i brought him to class, all teeny tiny and new; it’s difficult to take notes and participate in class when your breasts are being noisily sucked on. we didn’t get a lot of sleep. on more than one occasion, i stood rocking my baby and i remember thinking: what are we doing?

we have been here for two and a half years now. my son will be turning 2 in march. my thesis submission date is this friday, november 26th. this is what we are doing. we have a life here now, with good friends who support us and love us, my son has grandparents who live inside our computer with whom he skypes almost daily. my husband finished his teaching degree, & is working now, doing a job he loves. and me, well, i’m writing my thesis, doing something that i, too, {mostly} love.

my brain is fuller than it was when i got here, & so is my heart. that’s what we’re doing.

hello world!

i’m starting this as a project just for me.

because i like reading blogs about other people’s lives, & i think to myself… i could do that.

i can’t take pretty pictures, you won’t find many of those here {unless i borrow them from other places, or get really really lucky with one i take myself}

i don’t craft, you won’t find tutorials about sewing projects or revitalization old junk {although this is something i would love love to be able to do, i leave this to the experts & buy the things they make}

i might be able to give a tutorial on how to craft an opening paragraph for an essay, or strategies for memorizing vocabulary words, or perhaps how to plan an effective foreign language lesson for adults.

i’m not exactly sure what this is going to be, except that, as i already said, it’s something for me.